What Led Us To Adoption

What led us to choose adoption?  When did you decide to adopt?  Why now?   Can you not have biological children?

These are a few questions we are posed with regularly and honestly, love to answer! A lot of people were shocked when we announced to our close friends and family that we were interested in adoption.  Truth is, John and I had not openly discussed kids with our friends and family in great detail.  Not because we didn’t want children of our own or didn’t see our family growing, but because John and I from the earliest stage in our relationship had always known that we would grow our family through adoption.  We decided this very early on in our courtship and put the plan aside while we worked on other things to strengthen our family in order to prepare our lives for the very hard task of adopting.  In the 2 years we have been married, we have done A LOT…

We moved into our dream house and set forth to make it a perfect home.  The day we looked at our home to purchase, we declared the sweetest, littlest room upstairs our “nursery” room.  This was the room we would bring our Baby Ashton home to one day. Over the last 2 years we have tirelessly improved our home to make it ours. The only thing missing is the pitter-patter of feet and baby cries (lets hope not too much of the latter).

We also opened up our first business, Body and Brow Boutique.  This was a huge and scary decision but we knew it ultimately would provide us with more income and time to flourish as a family.  In 2 weeks, we will celebrate our business’ 1 year anniversary! John also started with a new company in order to have more flexibility and be closer to home.  We have finally settled down from our career changes, and feel ready to move on with our plans to grow our family!

So, Why adoption?

We always answer “why not?” John and I feel blessed to have the patience and open hearts to except a child into our hearts and family.  When discussing plans to grow our family, both of us never felt the necessity of a biological child.  We just wanted a healthy baby .  We also see the need of adoption within our community.  Our hopes are to provide a child with a unique, cultured home.

Another key factor in our decision to adopt was John’s deployment to Bosnia.  Many of you might not know that John served in the Army National Guard.  He was deployed to Bosnia on a peace keeping mission in the early 2000’s.  While there, John was moved by the number of children he saw residing in orphanages and growing up without families. He recalls a memory while on a particular mission to Sarajevo where he saw 13 five story buildings of orphanages on a hillside.  This image has stayed with John over the years and he has often mentioned that he wishes there was something more he could have done. So naturally, John feels called to adopt.

As for me, I don’t have one defining moment that made me want to adopt.  Although I can say, my whole life I have always envisioned my future family as an eclectic blend.  My parents were wonderful about educating me about other cultures and people.  They showed me the importance of inclusiveness and acceptance and because of this, I have always felt the call to adopt.

Does this mean you don’t want biological children?

I hear this a lot, and I feel it’s the nice way of saying “So you can’t have kids or what?”   I don’t really feel the need to address this, but since I hear this question in various forms more often than not.  I thought “Hey, why not. The people want to know!”   To my knowledge, John and I are able to have biological children.  We haven’t tried to date, because like I have mentioned before, adoption had always been our plan.  This doesn’t mean that one day we might decide to conceive a child. But for now, we are focused on adoption and the great joy our newest family member will bring us.

I also want to make a side note about this topic.  Whether growing a family by biologically conceiving or adopting, the child is indeed, our child.  Our whole heart and soul.  Blood doesn’t make a family, love does.

We are so excited to share this journey with all of our friends and families.  Make sure to subscribe to our blog in order to get the most recent updates!

With love,
Kate (and John)

John and Kate Ashton pose for adoption photos.
One Step At A Time

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